Today was happy birthday to me. I now start my 58th trip around the Sun. 21183 days now behind me. I’m fairly sure I don’t have that many days left to me. I can remember a time when I thought people who were approaching 60 were pretty darn old. Well, Kevin, welcome to pretty darn old.
So, all things considered, how am I doing? As Facebook has been known to say, it’s complicated. In some ways, things have never been better. My work on the Crisis Text Line has helped me to begin to develop a new perspective on things in general. I don’t feel like I’m just a lump taking up space anymore. I’m beginning to believe, for the first time in a long while, that I have talents and abilities worth sharing, and that it just might be possible to not just constantly tread water and just survive, but actually to thrive. I have begun to entertain thoughts about my future that have lain dormant inside of me for longer than I care to think about. I’m back in the office fulltime after a more or less constant absence that lasted, according to certain things I’ve seen, for over 5 years. I’m reading a bunch and, more important, I’m writing again. If you take a look at this very blog, you’ll see evidence of that. It feels so good to stretch my brain like that again. I really didn’t realize how much I missed writing. Next week, I’m attending a virtual writer’s conference that I’m going to squeeze everything out of that I can. I wouldn’t go as far as to say my future’s so bright I’ve got to wear shades at this point, but I’m at least looking forward more or less positively, and that’s an immense change.
Now, with all that being said, there are certain parts of my life that aren’t so great. Unfortunately, much of what isn’t great is more or less out of my control to affect. I have done, and will continue to do, what I can to make things better, but I can’t make things happen all by myself. I think it’s time for me to reach the acceptance step in the Seven Stages of Grief, continuing to do whateverI can, but at the same time not letting negative outcomes sap all the positivity away. I apologize for being somewhat cryptic, but these issues involve other people besides me, so I don’t feel free to give details. Needless to say, though, positive thoughts/prayers/vibes are welcome.
I’d say that overall the state of me is as good as it could be. I still have my blue periods, and I probably always will. But I’m now moving, albeit slowly, in a forward, positive direction. I hope to keep up the positive momentum. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. No, I probably don’t have 21183 days ahead of me, but I can make the most out of the days I do have. And you know what? Despite the fact that my body has a bit more creak in it, I’m really not that darn old. There’s still a lot of life worth living out there,, and I intend to live it all.
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- Thoughts On The Chogaffirm Petition - June 3, 2023
- Rhonda - June 3, 2023
- Beyond Words Day 23 - April 4, 2023
- Beyond Words Day 21 - April 1, 2023
- State Of The Household - January 9, 2023
- Book Review and Miscellany Thoughts - November 18, 2022
- Initial Thoughts On My Writing - September 13, 2022
- Beyond Words Day 19 - September 11, 2022
