DAY 7
From the devotional book Beyond Words by Frederick Buechner
“THE ANCIENT DRUIDS are said to have taken a special interest in in-between things like mistletoe, which is neither quite a plant nor quite a tree, and mist, which is neither quite rain nor quite air, and dreams, which are neither quite waking nor quite sleep. They believed that in such things as those they were able to glimpse the mystery of two worlds at once.
Adolescents can have the same glimpse by looking in the full-length mirror on back of the bathroom door. The opaque glance and the pimples. The fancy new nakedness they’re all dressed up in with no place to go. The eyes full of secrets they have a strong hunch everybody is on to. The shadowed brow. Being not quite a child and not quite a grown-up either is hard work, and they look it. Living in two worlds at once is no picnic.
One of the worlds, of course, is innocence, self-forgetfulness, openness, playing for fun. The other is experience, self-consciousness, guardedness, playing for keeps. Some of us go on straddling them both for years.
The rich young ruler of the Gospels comes to mind (Matthew 19:16-22). It is with all the recklessness of a child that he asks Jesus what he must do to be perfect. And when Jesus tells him to give everything to the poor, it is with all the prudence of a senior vice-president of Morgan Guaranty that he walks sadly away.
We become fully and undividedly human, I suppose, when we discover that the ultimate prudence is a kind of holy recklessness, and our passion for having finds peace in our passion for giving, and playing for keeps is itself the greatest fun. Once this has happened and our adolescence is behind us at last, the delight of the child and the sagacity of the Supreme Court justice are largely indistinguishable.
My reflection I have to say, this devotional really resonated with me. I will turn 58 in two weeks. That seems hardly possible, but we won’t deal with that factor of the equation right now. I remember someone once telling me that you become a full-fledged adult when you turn 30. Come to think of it, that might have been around my thirtieth birthday. Anyway, I always took that to mean that once you become a full-fledged adult you, to heavily paraphrase Paul, put childish ways and things behind you, put on your big boy pants and live your life. In at least some ways, I did just that. While I never had a career, I did hold down a long-term job. I obtained a mortgage. I got married and fathered a child. But, at the same time, a significant part of me was still deeply rooted in adolescence. Ultimately, my adolescent and adult worlds collided, with disastrous results not only for me but for many people I loved. To make a very long story very short, I wound up losing most of the markers of adulthood that I had acquired. But, like the phoenix rising out of the ashes, I’m happy to say I have restabilized my life. I am very contented in a strong, healthy marriage. My health is relatively good. And, yes, I am a mortgage holder again! Many of the things that are still unsettled in my life are out of my control, and in those cases I am still learning to, as they say, let go and let God, doing whatever I can to assist the process along. My inner adolescent still crashes through from time to time, but I think I can safely say that I am no longer caught between two worlds. I’m prayng I live a good long life so I can make up for all the time I wasted. God is good, all the time!
- Our Weekend Getaway - January 22, 2024
- So Long, Mom, And Thanks For All The Spaghetti - November 10, 2023
- Thoughts On The Chogaffirm Petition - June 3, 2023
- Rhonda - June 3, 2023
- Beyond Words Day 23 - April 4, 2023
- Beyond Words Day 21 - April 1, 2023
- State Of The Household - January 9, 2023
- Book Review and Miscellany Thoughts - November 18, 2022
- Initial Thoughts On My Writing - September 13, 2022
- Beyond Words Day 19 - September 11, 2022
