Last week I wrote about my reading of Henry Nouwen, particularly his emphasis on solitude. Reading Nouwen spurred me to introduce myself to the writings of Thomas Merton, whose copious journals have been published in several books. Merton was a Trappist monk, and he always strove for perfect solitude and prayerfulness in his life. I’m currently reading Dancing in the Water of Life, which encompass his journal entries from the time period 1963 to 1965.
In reading this book I find myself struck by the constant conflict Merton appears to feel in his daily life. There is a constant tug-of-war for him between his desire for silence and solitude and the pressures and, as he refers to them, trivialities of the life outside the monastery. It’s hard to see Merton, or anyone like him, succeeding in living the full Trappist life in today’s day and age. Merton felt constantly distracted in his time, and there are infinitely more potential distractions in today’s world to pull even the most devoted prayerful heart off course. I’ve read and heard for many years about the precipitous decline in those choosing to enter the monastic religious vocations over the past several decades. I don’t know if Gethsemani, where Merton lived for much of his adult life, even exists anymore. It seems to me that today’s world, with its smartphones and 24/7 news cycles and the perpetual need to stay “plugged in”, can’t sustain a monastic, prayerful lifestyle. To me, this is a shame. As much as spirituality and deep thinking is dismissed and sometimes even maligned in today’s society, there is a real need for contemplators and those who dare to go deep these days. To me it feels very much like a dying skill. I very deeply admire Thomas Merton and those like him, who eschew the hustle and bustle of daily life to pursue what ultimately really matters. I’ve always felt a pull to do this, but I know I don’t have what it takes to stick with it. For one thing, as much as I’m ashamed to admit it, I’m as much wed to my smartphone as anyone. I get something very much akin to a panic attack if I’m separated from it for even a little while. This doesn’t make me happy, but it’s reality. Also, I’m too much “of the world” to divorce myself from it. As much as many things frustrate me, strike me as frivolous or inane or just plain stupid, this is the world I live in, and attempting to remove myself from it would be hurtful to those I care about and who care about me, not to mention, ultimately, myself. With that in mind, I’m going to continue to work on my contemplative self within the framework of my life as it exists today. What this probably means is I will continue to use this blog as a sounding board of sorts, which will result in continued lack of focus, at least for a time. I’m thinking maybe if I stick with it a focus will emerge in time. Regardless, I invite you all to stick around for the journey, wherever it leads. And I will continue to gain inspiration from the likes of Nouwen and Merton. I could do a lot worse in the inspiration department.
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